Who the freaking hell am I?
Even I don’t know the answer to that
I change every instant of every moment
I don’t know what I want or don’t
I’m in a tight spot where I’m an adult
and a child all at the same time
I don’t know who I am and I doubt I ever will
That’s pretty all right with me
What am I doing with my life?
haha haha haha
I have no idea but I really wish I did
It’s as if it’s been dictated to me what I’m supposed to
Now, all of a sudden, I’ve awoken & opened my own mind
and changed my own definition of success but
how do I make the adults in my life understand?
It may be immature at this stage in my life but
I don’t think money equals wealth
I don’t know what I’m doing but I do know
the path not to take, at least for now
Am I ever going to actually get started and finish a work?
I keep talking about writing a novel and getting famous somehow
but I’m too afraid to take a risk, understandably
Every time I’ve gone after something I deeply care about
I’ve failed and failed miserably but I keep going
so it doesn’t matter if the work isn’t finish or started
because I know I’ll get there one day; soon, I won’t be afraid of failure
When I’ve succeeded at one other aspect of my life, I’ll get the courage
and I’ll get started, finish, and succeed at this one but
In the mean time, I want a dream that’s just a dream
unadulterated, unfailing, untainted, & utterly surreal