Daily Prompt: Tell us about a time when you were left on your own, to fend for yourself in an overwhelming situation — on the job, at home, at school. What was the outcome?
I went to law school. Many people do not know that law school grades are curved. Basically, this means that it is already predetermined how many people will make As, Bs, Cs, D, and even how many will fail. I know that does not seem right but I am not making this up.
I went to a good school for my undergraduate. I made fairly good grades, mostly As with a few Bs and 2 Cs in all of my undergraduate career – all the while working at 4 different jobs, my hours accumulating to full time.
Then, I had the wonderful opportunity to attend a wonderful school for my Master’s degree. I made mostly As with a few Bs. I was working Professionally full time. Somehow I made it work.
I thought I was ready for law school. I thought I was a smart person. Even though I had struggled a bit previously, I knew that if I put the effort in, I would get better grades.
This strategy did not work in law school. No matter how hard I tried, I realized that I was no longer a smart person, at least not within that group of students. My self-esteem went to an all time low. I had to go to therapy. That’s how bad it got. I doubted every single thing in my life. I thought I made the worst decision by attending law school. I did not think that for the life of me I would make it. Some of my peers dropped out of school because they had come to the same conclusion.
I really thought about quitting. But, I put up with it. 3 long and hard years but I kept at it. Somehow I made it.
Even though I didn’t sink, I don’t think I swam either because my self doubts come back at every turn I take, even in my private life. I am proud of the fact that I did graduate. I am proud to know that when I really set my mind to something, I can do it. I may not achieve my goals the way I want meaning I may not be the best but I get there.
Most of all, I learned not to associate my self-worth with grades. The best thing though? I realized that it is far more important in life to be nice than to be smart. I no longer find Tony Stark amusing or funny. I think he is a horrible person because how you treat your friends says a lot about you.
In a way, I suppose I learned the best thing in life: Be nice!